Everything I'm Not
by starlett-03-04
Summary: Lily and James are together. but who is Shayla Read to find out. set up as a son fic One shot Please read and reveiw


**Disclaimer: I own nothing except Shayla. Song is by The Veronicas; it is called "Everything I'm not. It's kind of a song fic One Shot. All the rest belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

Battle of the bands is here and I am so ready. He told me he loved me he told me the things I wanted to hear but it wasn't true. It took a many teary nights to write this song. It was the biggest slap in the face that I could possibly think of. I was ready, really ready.

He loved her and not me. He used me to get closer to her and I will always resent him for that. He loves Lily, not me I am the average one. I don't have the flaming red hair or the green eyes. I had red hair but not Lily's; my eyes are composed of a dull gray blue.

She and him started dating last week, and I didn't care for the first time I didn't care I already knew my future. I know the will be no place for either of them. I would die on my 21st birthday and my purpose here on earth was to get them together. It was decided long ago they would have a son and they would live with him the first year of his life and then it was blurry from there. I hate my future because I have no choice. I am there only hope at this point. I hate both of them for taking away my right too choose. But there is only me and I know this.

Only with there union would the fall of the dark lord be possible. It was in the hands of Harry. Though I don't quite know who Harry is or is going to be. I do know his life is to be trying and he will face many challenges. He will defy he who must not be named more than four times. And I know he is a warrior at heart.

I had to break my friendship with Lily, and sound like a bitter bitch. Which is hard when I feel so happy for my success. I know I must never interfere with her or James from this point on. I have to leave Hogwarts tonight and I learned long ago not to tempt fate. The song was the reason, the song would explain. They will think I left in a jealous rage, but they will never know that I was self-sacrifice from birth.

When I was accepted to Hogwarts Albus told me of my position and I learned to accept it over the years. It was really hard at first, how was I expected to make friends with the person that was to bring my end. Over the years I began to love Lily as a sister, and it was easier to know that I would have to die for her.

The hour is here. I must put on my clothes; this is the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Everything has to be flawless. A black mini skirt and a black halter-top. I take my wand and turn my hair black, my lipstick and eyeliner… black. I have to look the part, if they are to take me seriously. I never really loved him; it was all to get them together. I just have to go out there sing my song then leave, and never look back.

Why am I crying I knew of this before I began. I knew I would never love. I figured I would be used to pain by now. My parent's dead when I turned six. My grandmother died when I was fifteen. I should be scared most certainly but sad never. I know I would be on the front lines when I left her I have five more years of life. I should rejoice. I must stop and that's exactly what I have done.

"Bam Bam Bam" someone is at the door

"What?" I screamed

"Shayla your up!" it sounded like my friend Tina

I walked out onto the stage and everyone gasped, I heard a few girls say she was such a nice girl what happened. There they are staring right at me Lily has what appears to be sorrow in her eyes. While James looks nothing but ashamed I start to wonder if he still cares.

I mouth, " I hate you both." To them hoping it will make them get up and leave. If only they knew it meant I love you guys so much I am willing to give everything. I pick up my guitar and a sing tear slides down my cheek. That's when I say "this is called 'Everything I'm Not' preformed by Dejected enjoy. I dedicate it to well you know who you are."

"O no don't go changing, that what you told me from the start,  
Thought you where something different, that when it all just fell apart,  
Like you're so perfect, and I can't measure up,  
Well I'm not perfect, just all messed up

I was loosing myself to somebody else, but now I see  
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end of you n me  
Cause the girl that you want,  
She was tearing us apart,  
Cause she was everything, everything I'm not

It's not like I need somebody, telling me where I should go at night  
Don't worry you'll find somebody, someone to tell how to live there life,  
Cause your so perfect and no one measures up, yea all by yourself your all messed up

I was loosing myself to somebody else, but now I see  
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end of you n me  
Cause the girl that you want,  
She was tearing us apart,  
Cause she was everything, everything I'm not

Now wait a minute, because of u I never knew all the things I had  
Hey don't u get it, I'm not going anywhere with u tonight cause this is my life  
I was loosing myself to somebody else, but now I see  
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end of you n me  
Cause the girl that you want,  
She was tearing us apart,  
Cause she was everything, everything I'm not

But now I see  
I don't wanna pretend so this is the end of u n me  
Cause the girl that you want she was tearing us apart, cause she's everything, everything I'm not"

I finished my song and threw my guitar said, "Have at him, he is yours." I walked off stage and that was it I didn't know where I was going but I knew one thing. Five years, I would kill a little rat if it were the last thing I do.

**Read and Review please I would really appreciate it thanks.**

**Star**


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